


Mercredi

by Sexjokenotintended



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Lawyers, Fluff, Lawyershop, M/M, Romance Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 21:09:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14902046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sexjokenotintended/pseuds/Sexjokenotintended
Summary: Locus and Felix frequent a quaint cafe just around the corner from their apartment. Felix likes their coffee and cakes, Locus likes the workers- worker to be specific. David, a nervous barista who accidentally befriended an infamous creditor, two very annoying forces work together to ensure that this very unusual love blooms.





	Mercredi

“Don't be a pansy, go and ask him!” Felix practically shouted this at his glaring partner.

“No.” Locus took a sip of his coffee and looked at the barista serving a table in front of him. That barista was called David Washington, how did he know this exactly? Well he's been… “keeping tabs on him” so to say. 

“So, you're just going to stalk him for the rest of your life?” Felix raised an eyebrow, looking at Washington. 

“I do not stalk him.” 

“Yes, you do.”

“I do not.”

“Oh my god, you do just admit it!” Felix sighed and adjusted his tie, “I'll be back, try not to drool too much, that suit was expensive.”  
He stood up and walked towards the barista.

“Hi, David right? I'm Isaac, that glaring man over is my partner Samuel. He’d love to take you out sometime, so here’s a business card with his number on it.” He winks and hands him a card before returning to the table.  
Washington looked down at the card, he was confused and scared and now he had a reason further than ‚being in debt to South Dakota‘, if only he was better at poker… He looked over at the tall, glaring man who was focusing his hatred on to his partner. Now that he thought about it, maybe calling wasn’t such a bad idea…

“What was that about?” Locus asked standing up. 

“He looked pretty dodgy, I figured he could use some legal help.” Felix smiled and handed his partner an envelope.

“We're not lawyers.”

“Not yet.”

That night

Washington picked up the phone, hesitating slightly. Looking at the card in his hand, he made up his mind. 

“Hello?” a low, intimidating voice spoke through the phone.  
“Th-this is Washington! From the café!” He has a feeling that, like everything else in his life, this would not go well.

Locus paused. How did Washington have his number? More importantly, why is he calling him at three in the morning? 

“... What do you need?” his voice was as emotionless as ever.

“Well, your partner said to call and I just got out of work so… willyougooutwithme!“

Suddenly Locus knew what happened. Felix. His plan for lecturing Felix had to wait, right now he needed a response and quickly.

“... Yes.”  
The steadiness and authority in Locus’ voice made Washington even more nervous and confused.

„M-meet me outside the café at 3pm tomorrow! It’s my day off.”

“Acknowledged.”  
Locus hangs up unsure of how to feel. He was angry at Felix, but he was also going on a date with the man he's eyeing for awhile. Before he even gets a chance to fully process the information Felix walks into the room. 

“Real smooth dude.” He leans against the door frame.

“Why?”

“Because you wouldn't have gone anywhere if you kept watching him from afar. Oh yeah, about that lawyer thing, there's your new identity.” Felix gestures to the envelope on the bedside table. Locus walked over to the table, opening the envelope. He looked up at Felix with a disappointed expression,  
“Who did you kill?”

“I can't believe you think so low of me to assume that I killed two people just so you could get a date as a hotshot lawyer.”  
After Felix said this they looked at each other in silence. After a good few seconds Felix groaned and spoke up. 

“... Samuel Ortez and Isaac Gates.”

Locus sighed and looked back at him.  
“And which of us will be the disappointing one?”  
“You're going to be Samuel Ortez, hotshot lawyer and very homosexual. You should nail the last part. I will be Isaac Gates, the best lawyer in our entire division.”  
Felix smirked.  
“I’m going to ignore the homosexual part, how long have you been planning this?”  
‘Samuel’ wanted answers.

“Don't run from your sexuality Sam, and about a week.” Isaac handed him a briefcase.

“I don’t have this date for twelve hours. What are you even doing awake?“

“What I always do at this time of the morning, a cute girl. What are YOU doing awake? No one as usual I assume?” Felix raised an eyebrow.

“Taxes. You would be in jail for tax evasion if I didn’t.” 

“Isn't her name Texas?”  
Locus muttered something under his breath before looking Felix directly in the eyes.

“Taxes. The money you pay to the Government. You haven’t paid your taxes. Ever.”

“That's because we have a system, you do the lame stuff like taxes and shopping and I do the important stuff like finding us jobs, talking to people since I don't look like I have ten sticks up my ass and getting you action.” Locus glared at him with seething hatred. “Fine, i'm going. Whatever you do, don't wear what you usually wear on your date tomorrow. Try smiling too.” Felix walked out of the room and into his own. 

Around two the next day Washington was walking with South.  
“I can’t afford all of this! I work at a coffee shop!” He stared at the list in disbelief,

“That’s your fucking problem, not mine! Why do you still work there?“ 

„It’s the criminal record you added! I never did any of that!“ South squinted at him in disbelief, 

„If it wasn’t you, than who… WYOMING. That’s it, I’m tripling his debt.“ Washington was taken aback, 

„How much money does he owe?“ 

„You don't want to know, any ways, I‘ll take it off of your criminal records!“ she gave him a pat on the back, 

„How many people are indebted to you?“

„Let’s just say… You’re on the lower end of the spectrum, number sixty-seven.“ Washington jumped back, 

„Sixty seven?!“

„Anyway! Let’s get you a new job, how does death row prosecutor sound?” She joked while handing her bag out for him to take. 

„Sure! It’d be a chance to use the law degree you mocked me for getting!“ Washington replied enthusiastically.

“Wait, are serious? I mean if you really want it then you start on Monday, also this bag isn't going to carry itself.” South said impatiently. He grabbed the bag as they sat down at a table, 

„How much debt do I still have to pay of-„  
South put her credit card to his lips.

„Shhhhhhhhhhhh“ Washington, confused and frightened as ever, stayed silent. 

“Am I… interrupting something?”  
Samuel approached the table only slightly confused on what's going on. 

“Who the fuck are you?” South eyed him up and down. “Nice suit, pretty expensive though isn't it?”  
He glared at her silently.

“How about a game of poker?” She suggested grinning as she gave him her card. 

“South… that's my date... “ Washington looked down embarrassed by South as usual. 

“He's your date? Good on you.” She stood up and patted David on the back. “I'm serious about that poker game though, you look pretty wealthy.” she chuckled and walked away with a confident stride.

„She’s a scam-artist, please don’t. She doesn’t need another debtor.“ David looked down, embarrassed. 

„And how would you-„

„I‘m very in debt.“ he said sheepishly

“How much debt?” He tilted his head further down,

“Eighty.. Seven…”

“Eighty seven dollars? That’s not a lot.” 

“T-th-thousand…” He muttered quietly.  
“Eighty seven thousand?!” He exclaimed in shock,

“I-i don’t have a gambling problem or anything! She’s actually my friend, i played poker with her once and... “ He slowly looked up, upon seeing Locus with his signature glare only made his nerves rise. “I’m really bad at poker.”

“Your friend… Keeps you in that amount of debt?” Sam stared at him with a questioning look. He nodded, 

“She tripled it yesterday… I only had twenty-nine thousand then!” Seeing ‘Sam’’s puzzled expression, he, the smartest man alive who totally never got given his business card, blurted out a question. “S-so! What do you do for work?”

“I’m… a lawyer.” David’s face lit up

“I’m a prosecutor! Well, sort of. What kind of lawyer are you?” ‘Samuel’ nods silently, “That’s not a type of lawyer.” Locus realised he actually had to respond, he had been used to Felix doing all the talking for him.

“.... Defense.” His face lit up again.

“Oh! So we’re opposites!” ‘Samuel’ nodded again, staying silent. This freaked out Washington a lot.

“A-anyways…” David struggled to find a good conversation starter.

“I’ll pay off your debt.”

“What?” 

“Your debt, i’ll pay it off for you.”

“Why? I just got a better job, I can pay it off!” 

“Your creditor is scamming you out of money, what did she even triple your debt for?”

David hesitated.  
“... I said i didn’t like her haircut.” Samuel stared at hm.

“I’m paying off your debt.” His voice was stern and certain, David looked at him with confused expression.

“But-”

“No. I will pay it off.”

“BUT-”

“No.”

“.... Thanks.” David held out his hand, Samuel hesitated before grabbing his hand and shaking it.

\------------------------------------------------------

“EIGHTY SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS?!” Felix’s voice was deafening and filled with anger.  
“Calm down, you’re going to wake the neighbours.  
“CALM DOWN?! Ohhh that’s fucking rich. PLEASE tell me that you did not actually pay a fucking coffee barista EIGHTY FUCKING SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.”  
“He’s a prosecuter now.”  
“GOOD FOR FUCKING HIM!” Felix slams his hands down on the table before pacing around the room.

“I thought you were supposed to be the one who handles our finances! And aren’t you the one who’s always lecturing me about spending money irresponsibly?!”  
“That’s because you spent two thousand dollars on a single knife!”  
“It was a limited edition diamond, obsidian blend!”

Locus sighed, arguing with an idiot was impossible. He decided to change the subject.  
“We should keep up the facade of lawyers and find a case.” A light yellow folder slammed onto the table by Isaac, “Death-row defense case, it’s the prosecutor’s first trial so it’s a guaranteed win, Samuel Ortez was already assigned the case before he well… had an early retirement. The trial is on Wednesday.”

\------------------------------------------------------

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOUR DEBT HAS BEEN PAID OFF?!?!” South snarled, she picked up a scotch glass and threw it at the wall next to him.  
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! He insisted that he paid it off!” Washington shrank down into a ball, his voice wavering.  
“Well this is fucking fantastic! How the hell are you supposed to stay loyal now?! I actually liked you!” She breaks another glass on the ground.  
“Who's next?! York?! Maine?! WYOMING?!” She slammed her hands on the table.  
„W-we can still be friends! Without the debt!“ he shrank

She looked over at him confused.  
“... What?“  
„f-Friends!“ Washington stuttered, „I like you!“ He wiped the glass shards off of his legs and took few steps closer, “And I don’t need debt to do that.”  
She looks at him. “Friends… without debt? I.. “ she sits down. “I'll see you in court sixty seven.”


End file.
